Response to Andrea's Piece

Nice piece, Andrea! This was a heart wrenching yet essentially positive story. You did a great job of including all the details that one could possibly want to know-age, descriptions, background, where these characters came from and are trying to go. You also did it in a non-ostentatious way. My biggest question is what exactly are you trying to impart with this story? It’s a great a story but what is the piece signifying or what is the reader supposed to get from it? Also what are we supposed to get from the ending of the story? It seemed like it was leaning more positive earlier. Maybe figure out another way to end the piece. Pulling Mira and Lisa’s story into a larger picture and also connecting it to statistics would increase the sway that your piece could have over readers and would make what the reader gets from the piece, that much more fulfilling. Looking forward to the final draft!