Monday, June 7, 2010
Process Writing for Final
Narrative Journalism was an unusual and sometimes difficult class for me because I had difficult discerning what set this apart from other types of journalism in the beginning of the course and how my pieces should be styled differently than they would from a piece submitted in another course. As the course went on, however, and I read from more of the texts, I began to gain a firmer grip on what I was doing and hopefully, improved. Revision is something that I have struggled with throughout the entire year. I had never really encountered it prior to this year but from the choice of courses that I took to writing my SIP, I was now bombarded by it. Hopefully, at the end of the year, I am now a more conscientious and competent reviser than I was when I started the year off. The chance for revision in the course was a good one.
Writing for this course has made me firmly realize that I think my strengths lay in writing more pointed pieces such as opinion articles or reviews rather than more literary pieces. I’m not the best person to tell heart-wrenching stories or illuminate a forgotten facet of culture. Interviewing, at least broadly, in the sense of trying to figure out someone’s story, is not my idea of a good time at all. It is a skill that I either do not have or need to more fully develop. Hopefully, I can become better at it.
The comments on the blog were useful, at least in sparking new thoughts that I would take in different directions. They gave a different perspective and while I may not have always used the suggestions, they showed when perhaps something wasn’t as clear as I had thought that it might have been or when I needed to elaborate on something.
Overall, I think it was a good course for me to take. I enjoyed a lot of the readings and even if I don’t go into journalism as a career, it enriched the reading that I do in my daily life. When reading articles in The New York Times or The New Yorker now, I have a greater understanding of how they were composed and constructed. I also will have a deeper understanding of what they are saying and their messages. It was worth the frustrations.
Writing for this course has made me firmly realize that I think my strengths lay in writing more pointed pieces such as opinion articles or reviews rather than more literary pieces. I’m not the best person to tell heart-wrenching stories or illuminate a forgotten facet of culture. Interviewing, at least broadly, in the sense of trying to figure out someone’s story, is not my idea of a good time at all. It is a skill that I either do not have or need to more fully develop. Hopefully, I can become better at it.
The comments on the blog were useful, at least in sparking new thoughts that I would take in different directions. They gave a different perspective and while I may not have always used the suggestions, they showed when perhaps something wasn’t as clear as I had thought that it might have been or when I needed to elaborate on something.
Overall, I think it was a good course for me to take. I enjoyed a lot of the readings and even if I don’t go into journalism as a career, it enriched the reading that I do in my daily life. When reading articles in The New York Times or The New Yorker now, I have a greater understanding of how they were composed and constructed. I also will have a deeper understanding of what they are saying and their messages. It was worth the frustrations.
Final Revision
Brrrrring! Brrrring! Brraaaaai! This is the sound (not the most pleasurable) of a Telecaster guitar strummed by an extreme novice. “That’s not the way to play. Here let me show you how to do it. You have to feel the music in yourself.” With this, Alex, slender and scruffy, amply clothed in flannel, takes the guitar in his hands and begins to play lucid, swooping notes that while ephemeral sonically, linger in the mind’s ear. Asked to categorize his music, Alex, nearly blanched, stares incredulously, before responding, “post-punk samba with a hint of bluegrass.” This obviously sarcastic remark shows The Oaks’ clear refusal to be placed in any particular genre and their caustic sense of humor. The name of the group may seem a bit particular but Alex, the lead singer and lead guitarist, explains it as deriving from “a desire to make songs that would be sturdy as oak trees and also able to blow around and be done in different ways.” The songs of The Oaks can only come from musicians who are compelled to make music for the sheer joy of it, and are determined to create a path in the hard and often cutthroat world of coffeehouse bands and the larger music industry.
This is a new band. In fact, the name isn’t even a permanent one; but rather it is one that they needed in order to play gigs and book studio time. There is even the suggestion among the four members that the band name could be constantly in flux and changing. This is a band that does not take seriously the hope for widespread fame. Changing your name every few months or so is certainly not the way to be the next Beatles. But even more important to the essence of a band than its name is its music, and what exactly is The Oaks’ music? It’s very hard to describe music that seeks to be as free of genre restrictions as this band’s, but it certainly comes from folk and jazz influences. “Some of our most recent songs came around after listening to a lot of Mississippi John Hurt, Django Reinhardt, real authentic stuff like that. We tried to be authentic and maybe we got a bit of that ‘Rolling Stonesy’ rich white boy act goin’ on.” While the comparison to the Rolling Stones doesn’t seem the most appropriate because of The Oaks’ less propulsive and sexually driven material, the connection to “rich white boy[s]” trying to act down and out is something that can be seen throughout music of the past half-century and indeed, Jake, the drummer of the band, comes from a very affluent family and helps to pay for much of the band’s expenses.
The band members will excitedly tell you about music and musicians that they enjoy, but they are extremely reticent to proclaim that their music is clearly influenced by these artists. In fact, the only artist that each of the band members claims to love is the soul singer Sade who would seem to have little in common with the music that The Oaks play. Zach, the bassist of the band, posited a remarkable manifesto that “Bands today hold too much to the past and care way too much about the past. Sure, cover songs and listen to older music but not to where you lose creativity.” This fascinating statement cuts to the changing dynamics of the music industry. Bands, especially small, mostly unknown ones such as The Oaks, are formed usually either as cover bands or primarily serve as them until their own songs become well known enough. The Oaks, however, strive to perform mostly their own songs and only include a cover in their set on a special day.
The Oaks, comprised of twenty year olds, have been playing and writing together for nearly two years, but only within the past half year, have they begun to take paying gigs in Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor and record. One fascinating fact that differentiates The Oaks from other bands is that record demos are required to obtain gigs at many small venues, as the venue owners want to ascertain the likely demographics for the music the band plays. Getting these record demos can be quite pricey, as studio time needs to be rented and to do this, the band has to go through a variety of hoops. The first time, they attempted to enter the studio, they weren’t allowed to record but having changed their name since they applied, the studio didn’t realize that it was the same band that had already paid for the time. The Oaks have been managing to score some gigs without recording but now are beginning to prep ten songs for studio time. The sheer amount of preparation that is necessary for recording is daunting for the novice musician and seemingly involves nearly as much time as the recording and learning of the songs itself.
It’s a hard life trying to be a professional musician. The struggles are many while the profits may often seem to have little to no fiscal reward. There is certainly a romanticism to it, however, that actively appeals to many young men and women who try their hand at it. Alex has a peculiar way of putting his reasons for being in music “Everyone wants to be great. Every little kid with a guitar or a piano wants to be Mozart or McCartney or Jay-Z, but how many really are? The ones who succeed are the ones who have confidence that they are geniuses and that their music is worth listening to and being replayed for years.” This belief is one that Alex certainly seems to hold constant in The Oaks’ music. Each of the members has great confidence in the music that they have written and are continuing to write. Zach, tugging at his striped polo shirt, describes a song currently in progress as “complex and catchy and crazy good.” As The Oaks prepare for what they are considering “The maiden show of our new incarnation,” they continue to evolve but in less shallow ways than simply changing their name; they are a band that consistently flouts industry conventions and seeks to challenge the audience’s expectations. There are not many bands that create works that linger in the mind over time but this is absolutely one.
This is a new band. In fact, the name isn’t even a permanent one; but rather it is one that they needed in order to play gigs and book studio time. There is even the suggestion among the four members that the band name could be constantly in flux and changing. This is a band that does not take seriously the hope for widespread fame. Changing your name every few months or so is certainly not the way to be the next Beatles. But even more important to the essence of a band than its name is its music, and what exactly is The Oaks’ music? It’s very hard to describe music that seeks to be as free of genre restrictions as this band’s, but it certainly comes from folk and jazz influences. “Some of our most recent songs came around after listening to a lot of Mississippi John Hurt, Django Reinhardt, real authentic stuff like that. We tried to be authentic and maybe we got a bit of that ‘Rolling Stonesy’ rich white boy act goin’ on.” While the comparison to the Rolling Stones doesn’t seem the most appropriate because of The Oaks’ less propulsive and sexually driven material, the connection to “rich white boy[s]” trying to act down and out is something that can be seen throughout music of the past half-century and indeed, Jake, the drummer of the band, comes from a very affluent family and helps to pay for much of the band’s expenses.
The band members will excitedly tell you about music and musicians that they enjoy, but they are extremely reticent to proclaim that their music is clearly influenced by these artists. In fact, the only artist that each of the band members claims to love is the soul singer Sade who would seem to have little in common with the music that The Oaks play. Zach, the bassist of the band, posited a remarkable manifesto that “Bands today hold too much to the past and care way too much about the past. Sure, cover songs and listen to older music but not to where you lose creativity.” This fascinating statement cuts to the changing dynamics of the music industry. Bands, especially small, mostly unknown ones such as The Oaks, are formed usually either as cover bands or primarily serve as them until their own songs become well known enough. The Oaks, however, strive to perform mostly their own songs and only include a cover in their set on a special day.
The Oaks, comprised of twenty year olds, have been playing and writing together for nearly two years, but only within the past half year, have they begun to take paying gigs in Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor and record. One fascinating fact that differentiates The Oaks from other bands is that record demos are required to obtain gigs at many small venues, as the venue owners want to ascertain the likely demographics for the music the band plays. Getting these record demos can be quite pricey, as studio time needs to be rented and to do this, the band has to go through a variety of hoops. The first time, they attempted to enter the studio, they weren’t allowed to record but having changed their name since they applied, the studio didn’t realize that it was the same band that had already paid for the time. The Oaks have been managing to score some gigs without recording but now are beginning to prep ten songs for studio time. The sheer amount of preparation that is necessary for recording is daunting for the novice musician and seemingly involves nearly as much time as the recording and learning of the songs itself.
It’s a hard life trying to be a professional musician. The struggles are many while the profits may often seem to have little to no fiscal reward. There is certainly a romanticism to it, however, that actively appeals to many young men and women who try their hand at it. Alex has a peculiar way of putting his reasons for being in music “Everyone wants to be great. Every little kid with a guitar or a piano wants to be Mozart or McCartney or Jay-Z, but how many really are? The ones who succeed are the ones who have confidence that they are geniuses and that their music is worth listening to and being replayed for years.” This belief is one that Alex certainly seems to hold constant in The Oaks’ music. Each of the members has great confidence in the music that they have written and are continuing to write. Zach, tugging at his striped polo shirt, describes a song currently in progress as “complex and catchy and crazy good.” As The Oaks prepare for what they are considering “The maiden show of our new incarnation,” they continue to evolve but in less shallow ways than simply changing their name; they are a band that consistently flouts industry conventions and seeks to challenge the audience’s expectations. There are not many bands that create works that linger in the mind over time but this is absolutely one.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Response to Andrea's Piece
Nice piece, Andrea! This was a heart wrenching yet essentially positive story. You did a great job of including all the details that one could possibly want to know-age, descriptions, background, where these characters came from and are trying to go. You also did it in a non-ostentatious way. My biggest question is what exactly are you trying to impart with this story? It’s a great a story but what is the piece signifying or what is the reader supposed to get from it? Also what are we supposed to get from the ending of the story? It seemed like it was leaning more positive earlier. Maybe figure out another way to end the piece. Pulling Mira and Lisa’s story into a larger picture and also connecting it to statistics would increase the sway that your piece could have over readers and would make what the reader gets from the piece, that much more fulfilling. Looking forward to the final draft!
Response to Steven's Piece
Good job, Steven! This piece is filled with information. The information is great and it would be a very interesting piece for someone who knows a bit about the Orthodox faith. Maybe include a little bit more explanation for people who don’t know as much about the Orthodox faith. Who is the audience that you are aiming this piece at? This seems like it would make a good magazine piece. Also, what type of piece are you trying to write? Is this just you encountering the Orthodox faith or are you trying to make a point about it? Flesh yourself out in this piece or maybe take yourself out of it because you are very present in it without doing too much. The amount of detail included in here is staggering, I’m just not sure of what you are trying to say or impart onto the reading audience. Perhaps talk a bit about how the church interacts with the community around it? You talk about needing a conclusion, which is true, but I’m not sure that I understand the final paragraph that you have either. What does that mean? Why does the priest not think that you will bring it back? Where does martyrdom fit into the picture? I look forward to your final draft! Good luck.
Response to Simona's
Nice job, Simona! Also, great use of dialogue. When I first read it, I was slightly put off but I realized that it is really quite good and helps to further the story and also is the way you use to tell the story. Perhaps try to put a little more of your voice into it though so that you don’t get lose in all of the quotations. I think you have a great choice of topic here and something is certainly timely. How is the situation with migrant workers unique to Michigan? Is it even? What is your audience for your piece or where are you trying to pitch it? I think it’d be best in a large newspaper like the Detroit Free Press or a magazine. The quote that you end with is good but maybe try to end a little more definitively, the piece just sorta seems to abruptly end. Explaining a little more of what the migrant camps are may also help people who are not familiar with them. This has the makings of a great piece. Great job.
Response to Marina's Narrative
Marina- This is a really fascinating piece and seems like it would be perfect for a feature in the Index or the Gazette. You have an obvious interest in your subject and it shows in the quality of enthusiasm that you put into it. One thing that I might be careful about is calling The Tempest, Shakespeare’s most male-dominated play because he has a lot of other ones that are as comparable in the dearth of male roles such as Julius Caesar or Macbeth. It’s a really broad statement that might not be supportable. Nice job, however, weaving in the different perspectives of feminism across different majors and how they incorporate it into their work. What exactly are you trying to say with your conclusion? It sounds nice but perhaps it wraps things up a little bit too neatly for an issue that still seems to be going on- expanding feminism at Kalamazoo College. This is a very interesting draft and I think you have a really great piece here. I look forward to seeing the final piece!
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