Response to Marina's Piece

Wow, that woman sounds awful. I think this was a great topic for you to write about. You can tell that it is something that is still clearly on your mind and you captured the turning point in Simone and your relationship. In fact, I even got angry along with you especially as you detailed your attempts to learn the language and culture and to befriend your host mother. Your use of French in the piece lends it a verisimilitude that it probably wouldn’t have without it and details such as your description of her dog bring to my mind, a scene that is just so ineffably and stereotypically French. One thing that could maybe help your piece is a little bit is to expand upon the device of you being felt that you were being treated as an elementary schooler. You could maybe add a little bit more to the end of the first paragraph or just draw a few more comparisons. I definitely think it works, however. Also maybe, draw out longer, what led up to your eruption rather than “finally, I erupted”. Overall, really well done! It’s nice to be back in America sometimes.